Let Yourself Adjust to the News, Then Make a Plan Sometimes pregnancy can come as a surprise. Sometimes it is something you have been trying for, and when it actually happens, it is shocking! Whatever your personal reaction to your pregnancy, allow yourself the time you need to adjust to your new reality. There is a brand new little human being in your life now—that is … [Read more...] about How to Tell Him He’s Going to Be a Dad
Beginnings: Cobbling the Path The spring of 2012 marked the beginning of a journey down a new and uncharted path to become a mom. The path to motherhood already proving to be much more difficult than originally anticipated, I apprehensively asked a colleague who recently adopted her daughter about her experience. Looking back, that conversation now represents the first stone … [Read more...] about An Adoption Journey of Openness and Authenticity
You have probably heard the phrase, “It takes a village.” Usually, this phrase refers to child-rearing and birth, and while it may not take a literal village to successfully give birth and raise children, it does take a metaphorical one. That is why we encourage you to find your village. Women have very powerful instincts. When a baby is conceived, a mother is born. This … [Read more...] about Find Your Village
A Father Is Born When a baby is on the way, everyone talks about the mother. Motherhood is a powerful force. The changes that happen in a woman’s body and brain all prepare her for motherhood as her baby is growing and preparing for birth. But what about fathers? What makes a father? Are they merely bystanders in the drama of birth and baby? Are they expendable? … [Read more...] about Fatherhood on the Brain
Children develop self-esteem and feel secure about the world through the love they receive by the adults around them. Grandparents can be wonderful assets. Not only can they be occasional caretakers, but they might also offer knowledge and comfort to you and to your baby. No matter what kind of relationship you may have with your parents, children will change the … [Read more...] about How to Work with Grandparents
If you are experiencing physical, emotional, financial, and sexual abuse from an intimate partner—or even threats—know that you deserve to be safe and free from it. Domestic violence, also known as intimate partner violence, is unfortunately common, affecting up to one in three women nationally. Here are some questions to consider from The National Coalition Against Domestic … [Read more...] about Do You Know the Signs of Intimate Partner Violence?
Emotions You May Feel: It’s normal to feel an array of emotions after a pregnancy loss. These emotions can range from but are not limited to: sadness, numbness, shock, depression, anger, disbelief, a sense of failure, and vulnerability. The first thing to remember during this time is that it’s OK to feel these emotions. Second, the loss of pregnancy isn’t your fault; … [Read more...] about 8 Tools for Coping with Miscarriage
If you have been sexually assaulted, or suspect that you have been drugged without your consent and suspect that you have been assaulted, you need to know that help is available. What has happened to you is a crime. It is NOT your fault. You are NOT to blame. No matter what you were wearing or doing, no one has a right to your body without your consent. Whatever you feel … [Read more...] about What to Do If You Have Been Sexually Assaulted
One in three women will experience pregnancy loss. This is a staggering number. Sadly, most of these women will experience a miscarriage, late miscarriage (sometimes called a demise by doctors), or stillbirth without any support. They will be alone, emotionally and physically. But it doesn’t have to be this way. If this is your experience, we are sorry for your … [Read more...] about Whatever You Need Is OK When Dealing with Pregnancy Loss
If someone is forcing you, coercing you, or manipulating you to perform sex acts in exchange for money, food, a place to stay, or because you “owe them,” please know this is illegal and is a crime! It could be a pimp/madam (trafficker) or anyone. If you have run away or are homeless, please know you do not have to do engage in prostitution. You CAN get help! Your safety is … [Read more...] about How to Get Help If You Are Being Trafficked
Adoption is a choice that must be considered in depth, with regard to what is best for birthparents, adoptive parents, and children. Whether closed, semi-open, or open adoption is the best choice for your family, contact a qualified adoption agency. For further support, please look at these links: For birthmothers: On Your Feet Foundation is a group dedicated to … [Read more...] about Best Resources Regarding Adoption
There are several good options when it comes to adoption. If you are not comfortable with either a closed or an open adoption, you may consider choosing a semi-open adoption. Semi-open adoptions allow birthparents to maintain contact with their child through a mediator, thus maintaining the privacy of both the birthparents and the adoptive family. This relationship allows for … [Read more...] about What is Semi-Open Adoption?
When it comes to adoption, you have options. While in the past, closed adoptions were a popular method, today, open and semi-open adoptions are more and more common. For birthmothers or birthfathers who do not want the complete separation a closed adoption would bring, open adoption might be the best path. Open adoptions allow birthparents to maintain contact with their child’s … [Read more...] about Pros and Cons of Open Adoption
Adoption is a choice often offered if a mother cannot care for her baby in the way she desires to. Many adoptions are open or semi-open and those are good and legitimate choices. But if a mother decides that the best thing for her child would be complete separation, closed adoption might be the best option. This is a difficult decision, with many facets, and there can be no … [Read more...] about What You Need to Know About Closed Adoption
Preparation for Delivering the News First, allow yourself to feel your own reaction to your pregnancy. It is common to have a range of emotions, and for feelings to evolve during a pregnancy. Second, think about good—not perfect—timing, like after dinner, not when your dad’s team is losing on TV, when your mom just had a super bad day at work, or they are having a … [Read more...] about How Do I Tell My Parents I’m Pregnant?
Domestic adoption rates have increased over the last few decades. According to the National Council for Adoption, there are now over 20,000 domestic adoptions per year. While the annual number of domestic adoptions has been increasing, the annual number of international adoptions has been decreasing. Adoption is a journey for all involved in the process with the hope of the … [Read more...] about What Is Domestic Adoption?
The decision to bring a child into your home through adoption is an admirable one, but unfortunately, the adoption process can be long and confusing. This is especially true when it comes to adopting from abroad. Before you jump headfirst into the international adoption/intercountry adoption process, it is useful to keep the following things in mind. Knowing the … [Read more...] about How to Adopt Internationally
Adoption can be an expensive option outside of the foster care system. For individuals or families who choose private adoption of a child—domestically or internationally—there are some tax benefits that can help offset expenses. The two most useful benefits are the Adoption Tax Credit and the Adoption Tax Exclusion. Tax Deductions Under the Federal Adoption Tax Credit, … [Read more...] about How Can Tax Benefits Help When Adopting
A father can be incredibly important to the mother of the child as well as their child. His active participation in their lives can enrich everyone’s on many levels—including his own. In many cases, without his financial support, women and children are more likely to live in poverty. Of course, every situation and relationship is different, and there may be circumstances in … [Read more...] about What You Need to Know about Paternal Support
Unexpected pregnancies can bring about a lot of emotions. Besides navigating all your own feelings, we often have to deal with the expectations of others, which can place a lot of pressure on you. Even though there are all kinds of families in our society, there is still a common stereotype that all children must have a biological mother and biological father in their lives … [Read more...] about When Paternal Involvement Isn’t an Option
Being a birthmother can be difficult, and one part of that difficulty can be navigating the minefield at work. How to discuss it with your co-workers? How to discuss it with your boss? Are you entitled to the same benefits as your co-workers who do not place their child for adoption? A mother who places her child for adoption is still entitled to the same benefits at work as … [Read more...] about Your Rights As a Birthmother in the Workplace